Grading Assistant

Please forgive me if I have been grading your essays, tests, and quizzes more slowly than usual. I promise I have been setting aside the same amount of time I normally do, but somehow I haven’t been getting as much done in that time. I think it may have something to do with the assistant who has recently started “helping” me.

You may recognize him as the class mascot we had for a day back in late October. He is now twice as big as he was then, and has officially joined my family. I named him Hamlet, and he fits the name well because he is very literary. Really! He enjoys investigating all of your schoolwork and making suggestions as I grade, as you can see above (No! Don’t mark it wrong, it’s an acceptable use of a preposition at the end of the sentence because the thought would not be complete without it!).

Occasionally he really falls in love with something you’ve written. He loves it so much, he simply cannot bear for me to write anything on it. He tries to wrestle the pen out of my hand, as you can see here:

Normally I am able to get the pen back and distract him with a small toy of some sort, but occasionally he wins. He gloats smugly, proud that he has kept me from scribbling all over someone’s writing.

So, my apologies again about the slow return of work you submit. Hamlet apparently thinks no one’s work needs any attention from me — in his mind, I should be loving him rather than scrutinizing your writing. I think I am going to have to start grading at coffee shops so I can avoid losing the battle against the cuteness that I simply cannot resist.